We all have a Window of Tolerance. You might think about this as the level of patience you have, your capacity or coping strategies and how this can change due to different environmental factors. There is a zone we have where we function well, we thrive. In this zone, we are able to manage stress, navigate challenging situations, process well, remain regulated and be present.
Why is the Window of Tolerance Important?
I am sure we all want to thrive and be our best selves. We want to stay regulated, not overwhelmed. We want to feel calm, not stressed. We want to have healthy interactions (socially, professionally) and not interactions which cause us distress. When our brain is 'in the zone', we are more likely to be learning, growing and being challenged as opposed to struggling and lacking effectiveness. Spending too much time out of 'the zone' can put pressure on our mental and physical health and this can present us with other challenges such as depression, anxiety or PTSD.
The concept of the Window of Tolerance
This phrase was coined by Dr Dan Siegel, where he used the term 'Window of Tolerance' to describe the space in which we can regulate ourselves without too much effort. Siegel proposed that everyone can have an intense range of emotional experiences where we are comfortable to process and integrate. This is the zone of 'optimal arousal'. For some, this 'window' can be very wide, with the ability to cope with high and broad levels of emotional intensity. For others, this 'window' can be narrow, but for all, there are fluctuations.
What affects our Window of Tolerance?
There are many factors which can cause our zone to fluctuate throughout the day. Being consciously aware of these can support us to maintain a level of balance. An equilibrium. It can also enable us to implement change to remain within our optimal zone.
Sleep: lack of sleep, tiredness, how rested you feel.
Environment: are you in a calm, safe space; or a toxic challenging environment where you are not being heard. What about the temperature, the noise, the smells?
Relationships: meaningful connections vs stressful interactions. The radiators vs the drains.
Your History: the map of your life is unique and influences how you process information. Do you have triggers in particular situations? Have you experiences big T or small t trauma? Are your coping skills still effective in supporting you where your life is now?
Routine: have you been able to follow your usual routine or has something impacted this? Such as annual leave, a sick child, a different office, broken down car/missed the bus, covering for a colleague, forgot your meds, left a bag/notebook/diary at home.
Nutrition: anyone else get hangry or have children who are desperate for that next snack to support their regulation? Our eating patterns can impact how our body and brain effectively work together.
Finding Balance: are you feeling stressed, overwhelmed? Upcoming deadlines? Competing priorities? Feeling 'stuck'.
These situations and how they present are often not predictable. These factors can shrink or reduce our zone, our window of tolerance, which can leave us feeling dysregulated, disconnected, anxious and certainly not presenting out best selves. Our baselines all differ as do our experiences which inform our reactions.
How ADHD Impacts the Window of Tolerance
The Window of Tolerance might feel narrower than it is for those who are neurotypical. With ADHD, our sensitivity to our environment, interactions and our interpretation of these can be heightened which can result in increased stress and overwhelm. We can often feel emotions more intensely. This means that it can be easier for us to slip into hyper or hypo arousal as we move out of our window.
What is Hyper and Hypo Arousal?
When we are pushed out of our window of tolerance there are 2 ways in which this might present.
Hyper-arousal: heightened feelings of anxiety, being irritable, panicked or overwhelmed. We may be in a heightened state of alert with an environment which has resulted in us becoming over stimulated. We might experience racing thoughts, outbursts, visible distress, rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), or feel on edge, act defensive and be increasingly impulsive. We might let things go a little and struggling with routines such as eating and sleeping. You might know this as being in 'fight or flight'.
Hypo-arousal: which might result in feeling numb, shutting down or disconnecting from reality. It might look like brain fog, difficulty focusing, task paralysis, a ‘freeze’ response. You can feel empty, experience difficulty in decision making or lack in energy and motivation. This can still happen as a result of being over stimulated and over whelmed where there might be too much stimulation or frustration with tasks which are requiring more focused attention. this can be your body's way of identifying your tolerance levels have been breached and shutting down to prevent burnout.
What additional factors might influence the window in ADHD?
Sensory: loud sounds, bright lights, the temperature and a chaotic environment can all trigger dysregulation
Tasks: competing demands, struggling to prioritise, difficulties with activation, challenging tasks and reliance on others for information to complete your actions. These can all affect your tolerance, resulting in poor focus and lower productivity
Emotional Sensitivity: RSD was mentioned previously. It is commonly experienced in ADHDer’s and can come about from receiving or perceiving negative feedback, criticism, failure, conflict or rejection. People with RSD experience these emotions so strongly that it can cause them pain, along with intense frustration, shame and embarrassment. The emotional response can be disproportionate to the situation and as these feelings are often internalised it can significantly impact perception of self and feelings of inadequacy, resulting in people dwelling in their perceived mistakes.
What can we do about this?
We are able to reset our Window of Tolerance by using mindfulness, self-care and in general being in tune with our bodies. It does require a skill in self reflection and importantly, in the moment awareness of self. Some things which might help include:
Self Awareness: Stop. Pause. Listen to what your body is telling you. Are you feeling out of sync? What are you feeling? How is your body reacting? Initially this might be something you do in 'hindsight' but the more you increase your self awareness, the more you will be able to do this 'in the moment'. This also might help you to become more aware of what your triggers are to reduce these in future.
Sounds easy??? Absolutely not!! But the ideas below might help you to understand how to become more self aware in the first place.
Pause: how do you feel right now? Think about your senses and what is being impacted - what you see, what you hear, what you smell, what you feel.
Breathing: focus on your breath to help ground yourself. Take regular opportunities during the day to stop and breathe, to help gain clarity and refocus.
Body Awareness: be aware of physical changes such as sudden temperature changes, a change to your breathing, heart rate increasing. These can often be a signal that you are moving out of the window. Heightened awareness will allow you to implement a change more quickly to take control.
Sensory Management: where do you work best? In an office, are you better against a wall, or with your back to a window? When working on deadlines, will working from home be more regulating? Regardless of where you are, can you create a calm space and consider using noise cancelling headphones or listening to music to maintain emotional regulation.
Movement and Mindfulness: we can regulate our emotions through stretching, walking, changing where we are sitting. ‘I have no time for breaks’, might be something I would say (I promise I am working on this…!) However taking short breaks for mindfulness, breathing exercises and getting outdoors can help reset and refocus. This will not only keep you within the window, but it is likely to increase your productivity and effectiveness at work.
Calm: create a moment of calm - light a candle or pop on a diffuser, make a cuppa, go for a walk, do some mindfulness routines that work for you.
Routine & Structure: work on creating (and following) clear routines with the aim to reduce uncertainty and support planning and scheduling. As an ADHD'er I have lots of the tools in this area to support and guide others, but implementing them for myself is often the challenge. However I am being kind to myself, taking baby steps and habit stacking around routines which is supporting me to head in the right direction.
Break Tasks into Chunks: in order to reduce overwhelm and create more frequent dopamine filled ‘wins’, break tasks down into smaller steps which will be less daunting and more manageable.
Self Compassion: I might have left this until last, but it is a crucial part in accepting ourselves for who we are. This doesn't mean we just accept and move on, but that we give ourselves compassion and kindness as we look to widen our optimum zone. We are patient with ourselves as we look to rewire the current reactions and behaviours we might experience. We work with hindsight initially as we identify triggers, consider alternative responses, reflect on the way our body feels and reacts. We then move into a preventative approach where we take that important pause, we listen to our body now, in the moment, to consider our next steps.
It is important to understand that everyone’s window of tolerance changes throughout the day, whether you are neurodiverse or neurotypical. Nobody is immune to this. The skill is in being able to realise this is happening and to implement some tried and tested strategies to recalibrate. The work we do to widen our Window of Tolerance or to get back into the parameters where you are regulated and in the zone is crucial in supporting us through life’s challenges.
Join the Conversation
I would love for you to join me on this journey. Whether you are a leader looking to refine your skills, an individual navigating the complexities of ADHD, or an organisation striving to grow and make a difference, this blog is for you. Together, we can build a community of learning, support, and growth.
Thank you for being here. I look forward to sharing with you, learning from you, and growing together.
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